My planets are NOT aligned these days. I feel overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. Is it something in the air? Oh wait thats pollen. Perhaps its just my over stuffed head making me feel like Im in FUNKY TOWN. And not groovy funky town. My head is weighted, I have much on my mind.. I feel cloudy inside.
I started this year with a gusto! If you remember, all positive, my direction was clear, my mind was made up. I was no longer going to live in limbo. I turned down a big job with lots of security that would move my whole life and career to new pastures, and I was GOOD with it. Done deal, decision made, focus forward.. Freelancing is the way to go, I've been doing it for 10 years and have managed through feast and famine... I was reinvesting in my market in my makeup business... Yeah Baby!!
Then... the job came back and begged for me to hop on board for even more benefits and security.
WHAT??? I just said no, I just turned you down, got you out of my life.... WHY.. are you calling me? NO.. why are you playing with my mind? Why are you enticing me with .... with ... work? Who wants a steady job these days? Oh wait.... EVERYONE.. So why am I so hesitant to leave the Vegas market and not hit L.A. like all the big timers do?
There were days when I wouldn't roll out of my drive way for less than $650 for even a few hours (It's no Linda Evangalista amout, I know). There were days when I would turn a gig down because I simply wasn't interested. There were days when I was insulted if someone would call me and ask me to help them out with a low budget gig. There were days when I turned my nose up at un-established photographers, directors and producers struggling to pull a project together....
Why? Cause' I was HOT, I was THE Makeup Artist to call in this market... If a celebrity was coming to town, I was destined to be in their entourage. If a national commercial was filming, I was the key makeup artist. I had makeup companies beating down my door, my phone range non stop with calls from New York and L.A. Vegas was even beneath me. NY and LA came first. I even had an assistant who would pick up my laundry if I asked her too.. I had new makeup artists begging to clean my brushes for free... I had two agents for goodness sake! Ya.. 2005 seemed a good year..
Those days are gone. Those were NOT good days. I was a high falooting makeup snob. My ego was so incredibly inflated that I was drifting off and losing sight of what is important in a career.. Stability.
It took a while for me to "start over". I was deeply humbled. My eyes were wide open and I realized I needed to do it right this time. I stepped away from the drama and let my work speak for itself. I became that makeup artist who was open to new ideas and willing to work for rates that were fair. I learned who my real friends were in this business. I learned who I could trust and I also learned who was worth my loyalty. I learned I needed a strong foundation locally because you cant build one in a market you're not invested in, that you do not live in. I planted deep roots here.. I will turn down NY and LA for my local clients in a heartbeat. I've come to appreciate this Sin City and all that I have made of it, especially the Vegas Vanities.
After all I've been through in this market, all the blood, sweat and tears, I'm reluctant to let go, even if work is drying up here. So thats why I've been trying to ignore this other job. Am I crazy in this economic climate to do so? Maybe... we'll see... I haven't said no a second time... But I've gotta get outta FUNKY TOWN!!
Funky Town version by Pseudo Echo
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